I think it’s time I faced the truth: I’ve been in a bad mood for a while, and I think my goal to reach financial independence is one of the major causes of my trouble.
I’d love to be the conveyor of “everything is awesome” messages like other bloggers do, but I’m not 100% made of optimism, and I have to be realistic here: reaching financial independence is a tough goal, and it brings a combination of hope and despair (I don’t think these 2 can ever be decoupled).
My work’s been my main source of bother for the past 24 months, but I think it wouldn’t be so bad if I was still in the “drone mentality“. Wanting to escape the rat race has made me dramatically aware of everything that makes me unhappy, and honestly I think it would be easier if I had taken the blue pill (that’s a Matrix reference, not a Viagra one).
The closer I get, the harder it gets for me to wake up in the morning and go to work. Sadly, the next 12 months are critical for me to reach “my number” and for various reasons I can’t afford to pull the plug right now.
My mood has dramatically gone down over the past 6 months, in particular because last year in November I though I was 1 month away from financial independence, and the 1 month has turned into 18 months after the Yen surged and the markets didn’t do so well earlier this year.
My daily mood is dangerously in sync with the direction of the stock market, and I really wonder how I ended up in that state of mind. I’m worried I won’t have what it takes to keep going for the remaining 18 months or so on my plan.
Most blogs about financial independence sell you the dream and the hope, and I mostly have positive expectations for my mid term future, but I also wanted to show people that the path to financial independence is not all rainbows and unicorns. Ignorance is bliss, Mr Money Mustache himself stated once that he discovered he was financially independent after the fact, and I think it’s much easier that way than when one has financial independence as a goal and is literally grinding day after day to make it a reality. I feel this is especially true as I get closer to the goal.